I use this expression, “look but don’t stare” to help me abstain from drinking alcohol and my subsequent abuse.

It has become sort of a mantra for me and it helps me to deal with various situations that may arise during the course of any given day.  

If I should get a “pang,” an urge to drink due to a thought or from some external trigger (i.e. people, place or thing), I let myself feel it and then I do whatever I can to dispel it. Distracting myself, or consciously refocusing on something else until I am past that initial urge, is the goal. It can take a little doing sometimes and other times, it can happen very quickly. Practicing this, when these moments arise, helps me to avoid following the thought or urge into the rabbit hole, so to speak. If I follow the urge and allow myself to breathe life into it or nurture it, it can just take over control, leading to full-blown obsessive craving. This might then lead me straight to the liquor store, bar, or elsewhere to find alcohol.

This is what I mean by “staring at it”.

“Looking at it”, just allowing and accepting the thought, is quite okay with me. I know I will always have thoughts of drinking or urges now and again. It is a matter of keeping those thoughts as “fleeting thoughts” rather than full-blown obsessive cravings.

I realize that I have a drinking problem and do my very best to accept that truth. As part of that truth, thoughts of drinking will come and there will be triggers too. Practicing vigilance in controlling my thoughts and accepting this truth makes me stronger and less stressed, and makes being abstinent more peaceful and solid. 

It’s like looking at the sun. To look at it is okay and it might hurt your eyes for a bit, but to stare at it could result in vision impairment or blindness. It’s the same with looking at my urges or seeing alcohol around me. It may hurt a bit but staring at it could result in my cognitive impairment, drunkenness, more suffering, or worse.